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Welcome to my blog randomnessandweirdnessisanna.blogspot.com where I try to annoy you as much as possible by not updating even after countless tags.
Oh. Repetition makes me happy.
And yes, there IS a pause button to stop the music from continuously playing in your ear, interrupting the sound of my very annoying voice playing in your heads.
MUHAHAHA.
Dear You,
Do you know how sometimes you hurt me so much?
I don't know if you know what you do, but sometimes it almost seems intentional that you do these things.
I know they're not supposed to hurt. I know that I'm supposed to seem strong, and not cry. I know that I shouldn't feel anything about it; not care about what it's like when the images are in my head.
I used to picture my future. It always had you in it.
I guess that when I stopped doing so, I knew something was wrong. I knew nothing would be the same again.
One day you'll be gone. One day, we'll only be strangers. It's happened before. Why shouldn't it again?
The grass is green. But it stopped looking the same.
Whenever I remember, it feels more like a stab now, instead of what is meant to make me smile.
I can't stand to even look at you now.
No amount of eye contact will help. Nothing will.
Perhaps everything has already been lost; but delusion stays close, bringing that last smidget
of hope, like a stain on your shirt you can never wash out, no matter how much bleach you use.
It works one-way now. Or no way at all.
Can't you see that?
Sometimes I think I try too hard. Try too hard to live up to your expectations or requirements.
That's why I was sitting in the back row that Sunday, so that no one would see.
You kept turning, but it meant nothing. Nothing at all.
Maybe you thought you cared. Maybe you did.
But nothing makes sense anymore.
What's normal?
It's like a personal threshold to me. What you can take on a regular basis.
But this isn't very normal.
But I'll pretend. Isn't that what everyone does?
And everyday too.